How to Get People to Like You - Enlightened Solutions Mediation

How to Get People to Like You Instantly and Gain an Edge in Personal and Professional Relationships

We have just seconds upon meeting a new person to get him/her to like and be interested in us. This is true for both personal and professional relationships. Making a meaningful connection in a short time can give us an edge, whether its during that important interview, the date you have been excited about, or when trying to secure a new client or business contact.

One way to grab attention and build rapport is to be in synch with the other person. People like those who are similar to them. One easy way to get in synch with another person is through matching and tuning into that person’s sensory style.

Below are the main sensory styles. Most people have a preference for one, but we use all sensory styles depending on the situation.

Sensory types:

Visual:

Cares about appearance, dresses well and likes to stay fit
Talks and thinks quickly
Uses words and phrases such as:

I see

See you later

Imagine that

I can picture it

A sight for sore eyes

We see eye to eye

Auditory

In between visual and kinesthetic styles in terms of appearance and body type
Moderate rate of speech and thinking
Uses words and phrases such as:

I hear you

I clicked with him/her

Listen

I got an earful

Tune out/in

That rings a bell

Kinesthetic

Focuses on comfort rather than style and is not as concerned about body appearance (unless person is an athlete/trainer)
Tends to talk and think more slowly
Uses words and phrases such as:

I feel you

Firm grasp of the situation

I connected with him

Pain in the neck

Go with the flow

I will get in touch with you

Challenge yourself to begin listening to and noticing the styles of others around you. Once you actively try to pick up on someone’s style, you will find how easy it becomes. You can start doing this as a fun way to kill time while waiting in line at the super market, when eating in a restaurant, or while riding on public transit.

Once you become aware of another’s style, try synchronizing with it by using words/phrases that appeal to that person’s style. This simple technique can get others to like you quickly, giving you an edge in any social situation.

Want to know your style? Take the quiz below to find out.

Sensory Style Quiz:

When checking into your hotel for vacation, you choose the room that
1. Has an ocean view but is noisy
2. Allows you to hear the ocean, but has no view
3. Is the utmost of comfort and luxury, but has no view and is noisy
When faced with a problem, you
1. Look for alternatives
2. Talk about the problem
3. Rearrange the details
When buying a new car, you want it to
1. Look good
2. Sound quiet or powerful
3. Feel comfortable and/or safe
When describing to a friend the latest concert you attended, you first
1. Describe how it looked
2. Tell your friend how it sounded
3. Describe how it felt
In your spare time, you most enjoy
1. Watching TV/movies or playing video games
2. Reading or listening to music
3. Doing something physical like crafts, gardening, or sports
The sense you would never want to lose is
1. Sight
2. Hearing
3. Touch
You spend the most time indulging in
1. Daydreaming
2. Listening to your thoughts
3. Picking up on your feelings
When someone wants to convince you of something, you
1. Need to see evidence or proof
2. Talk yourself through the information
3. Trust your intuition
You usually speak and think
1. Quickly
2. Moderately
3. Slowly
Take a breath. Where did you breath from?
1. High in your chest
2. Low in your chest
3. Your stomach
When navigating around a new city, you
1. Use a map/GPS/Google maps
2. Ask for directions
3. Trust your intuition
When buying clothes, you pick
1. What looks best on you/what looks the most polished
2. What makes a personal statement or reflects your personality
3. What feels comfortable
When deciding on a new restaurant to try, you make the decision based on
1. The building looking impressive
2. The restaurant being quiet
3. The restaurant being comfortable
You make decisions
1. Quickly
2. Moderately
3. Slowly

Tally your responses.

Mostly 1’s- Your sensory style is Visual

Mostly 2’s- Your sensory style is Auditory

Mostly 3’s- Your sensory style is Kinesthetic

Write down your style in rank order (e.g. VKA). Have your partner and/or close friends take the quiz to see how well you are matched. People tend to get along best with others who have a primary or secondary style in common. If you find yourself arguing with or having trouble connecting with someone, it could be because your sensory styles are out of synch.

(Information adapted from How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less- Nicholas Boothman)